The John Edwards Conundrum...

 

When John Cloud was just a young boy, about the age of 14 or 15, he decided he thought the world of politics was pretty damned interesting. Being born and raised in Oklahoma, he was heavily influenced that the "Grand Ole Party" was the way to go. Republicans through and through. Elephants 4 LYFE! For the school newspaper, he even held an impartial (HA!) poll on picture day on who Moore West Jr. High would elect for president, GWB or Al Gore. GWB won hands down. He remembers feeling disgust towards those who would vote for Gore... eeewww... a democrat. 

Okay, okay. Enough third person shit...

But as I reached voting age, I started this weird habit where I started actually THINKING for myself. My thoughts on capital punishment, LGBTQ rights, pro-choice, etc. put me far more in line with the Democratic party than it did the Republicans. So I jumped in headfirst. It just so happened to be around the time of the 2004 presidential election, and I thoughtfully researched the slew of Democratic candidates there were to pick from. General Wesley Clark was a favorite of mine, I also liked John Kerry and Al Sharpton. But then I found... John Edwards. He was a handsome, well-spoken senator from North Carolina. He supported LGBTQ rights, was pro-choice, was not in favor of a long war in Iraq and a slew of other policy issues that I agreed with. I had found "my guy." I even almost put his bumper sticker on my Mustang! Sadly, he withdrew from the race. He eventually became the Democrat's choice for vice president with John Kerry. They lost and we got GWB for another four years. He ran again in 2008, but was eclipsed quickly by both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. He didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. But I still liked him, a lot. I followed his political career and hoped he would stay a prominent figure... until Rielle Hunter came along.

Just kidding, I don't blame Ms. Hunter in this whatsoever, but that was just a good segue. Shortly after he dropped out, news broke that he had been involved in an extramarital affair with Rielle Hunter. I think I remember they even had a child together. That alone is absolutely horrible. But then you add on to the fact that he cheated on his wife, while she was dying from cancer. You don't get much lower than that. Lower than low. 

I have strong opinions on cheating. You can ask anyone. They destroy families, wreck lives and hurt a LOT! I speak from experience...Anyways, I dropped Edwards like a bad habit. I may have liked a lot of his stances on policy, but his behavior was abhorrent. That was that. I walked away, it was done. We broke up. It was over with. I told him to come get his shit and never talk to me again.

So... to make the connection to current events, why can't Trump supporters make that decision? Why don't they see the absolutely HORRID things he has done? Cut him loose! Say enough is enough! Unhitch your buggie (is that the saying??) from him and move the Hell on! I actually knew a small handful of people who have done this. They admit they voted for him. They don't feel good about it. They've learned what an absolute knob-job he is and they changed their minds. This is America! You have the right to learn things and change your mind if you learn something new that you don't like. I'll never understand. The man is officially out of office, he has no power anymore and can't do anything for you. He never would've done anything for you if he was STILL in his office. But he still has those avid, cult-like fans. Let him go. Move on. He's an asshat, and idolizing him makes you look like an asshat too.

Another Day of Infamy...

I was in the third grade when the attack happened on the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City. April 19, 1995. I think I was really too young to understand the gravity of the situation, but I know it scared me. A lot of people died, and even more people got hurt... all at the hands of (mainly) one angry individual. How could someone do that? Even more so, how could that happen so close to home?

On September 11, 2001, I was a sophomore in high school. I was listening to the events unfold while I attempted to take notes in my US History class. I wasn't so young anymore and I fully understood the gravity of the situation. There was a group of people outside of the United States that wanted to cause significant harm to innocent people within our own borders. It was terrifying. That naïve feeling of near-invincibility was absolutely shattered.

January 6, 2021 will join those days, and many other "days of infamy" that have happened in the United States. They are dates to be remembered, not because of some good or positive thing that happened... but when America was attacked because of who we were and/or what we stood for. Last Wednesday, the US Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. was overrun by a group of domestic terrorists. The violent mob was sent there to cause destruction by none other than our very own President. A crowd in the thousands marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, at the request of Trump, and angrily protested in front of the Capitol. Inside the building were joint sessions of the House and Senate, completing the (mainly ceremonial) counting of the electoral college vote results for the 2020 Presidential election. The votes had been tallied, the deed had been done, there was basically nothing that anyone in opposition to the results could do to change the outcome. But this mob had been lied to and told there was a chance. So they acted... violently.

Albeit late, the police and national guard DID finally show up and they re-took control. The dust eventually settled. Members of congress actually came back into the very place that had just been desecrated and completed the task they had been sent their to fulfill. Despite cries of a rigged election, (unsuccessful) court hearings, press conferences, rallies, and now a riot... Joe Biden is going to be the President of the United States. 

April 19 was really where the "Oklahoma Standard" was created. Our state came together, united and healed. September 11 was pretty much the same. People ceased being democrats and republicans, they were Americans (cheesy, right?). Part of the healing process and unity involved holding the responsible parties accountable for what they had done. Timothy McVeigh was arrested, tried and eventually put to death. September 11 eventually drew us into a long drawn-out war with Afghani terror groups. So, how does America heal from this tragedy? Like April 19, this attack came from within. The main culprit of this crime just so happens to be the leader of a political party and the current sitting President. A disturbingly large number of his supporters have fused their identities with their support for him, making it impossible for them to not feel attacked when he is criticized. You disapprove of Trump? You disapprove of who they are at their core...or that's how they perceive it. How do people get so intrinsically connected to a single individual? It's almost cult-like. But that is a whole other post (ooh! Good idea!) topic. 

So where do we go from here? I honestly have no clue. The optimistic side of me thinks that truth and love and all that positive stuff will prevail. The pessimistic side of me wonders how I will ever be able to look at those people that supported this attack again. There are people that I have loved and cared for, people that have meant a lot to me and helped me along in my journey. This past week revealed a darker, uglier side of these people. How do I move on? How do we proceed and pretend that everything is okay? Even if justice IS served and those who were involved get what is coming to them, there are MILLIONS of "normal" Americans that thought what happened on Wednesday was "fuckin' great!" Some people will sit in jail, while MANY more will continue to live like nothing ever happened. Much like everything else, I guess I'll just take it one day at a time.

2020: The Year That Wasn't...

Forgive me, if I decide to spare us all from my standard "year in review" post. I think we can all agree that this year was ANYTHING but standard...

It seems like it was so long ago... New Year's Eve 2019 fell on a Tuesday. Megan had to work late, so any sort of evening frivolities weren't really possible. It's not like we really WANTED to get out and about in all that craziness, but it's nice to at least have the OPTION. So, we rang in the new year at Megan's place. I remember sitting on Megan's couch (well, not really a couch... more like a REALLY tiny loveseat) and ringing in 2020. I had that feeling of relief wash over me, because 2019 just wasn't a good year (does that sound familiar?)… For the life of me, I can't even remember WHY I thought 2019 was so horrid, but I remember thinking along the lines of "thank GOD this year is almost over, we can start fresh with 2020." 

We all know how 2020 turned out. To call it a dumpster fire wouldn't be fair to dumpsters... or fires. It seems like so much harm was done. The world of politics will probably never be the same. How kids go to school has changed. How we celebrate holidays changed. So many jobs lost. So many people died. But... is it possible that there was some actual good that came out of this year? Let's take a look, shall we?

I got a new roomie!

In January, Megan and I signed the official paperwork... ok, not THAT official paperwork... but the forms that made us the tenants of a pretty little house in Moore, Oklahoma. I moved in to the new abode in February, Megan moved in after her lease was up in March. She moved in RIGHT as the pandemic was starting to pick up speed, so we went through that first "hunker down" together. We've hit a few bumps here and there, but nothing that we couldn't overcome. I think we have a pretty good little routine and we enjoy living with each other. Right, Megan? Megan... hello? Anyone? lol

Rockin' that 4.0

Four semesters later, I'm still kickin' ass and taking names on my graduate degree. I have taken some pretty amazing classes that have opened my eyes to a lot of other opportunities on what I can do with my degree once I graduate. I completed my first year of practicum, which I was able to complete out at Firstep. It has been a total blessing to get to finish practicum WHILE I'm at work. So many people have to struggle balancing schedules of work, school AND practicum hours. I've enjoyed my field instructor. She's a bit of an ass-kicker, but that's what I need from time to time. It's so exciting to think that, by this time next year, I'll be a college graduate... again!

3 Years and Going STRONG!

In November of 2020, I celebrated 3 years of maintained sobriety. It hasn't been an easy year, by far. I'm so glad that I had a little bit of time under my belt before the pandemic hit. The people that are starting to get sober in this time are stronger than they realize. I admire the hell out of the guys that have stuck it out while at Firstep. Quarantine has cancelled passes, limited visitation and just about put a kink in every "perk" the guys get while trying to complete the program. The majority of them do it without a whole bunch of complaining. Those guys that DO complain, well... I understand where they're coming from. I didn't go to a single in-person meeting since March. AA meetings have resorted to using ZOOM, which I just can't get into. It's so impersonal. I already use Zoom for school and work, so I hate using it for my recovery as well. I've been fortunate to have a pretty good system of recovery in place, because I would NOT recommend that anyone go without a meeting for this long. As soon as I feel comfortable, my ass is going to be in one of those chairs at Live and Let Live.

Joe Biden For President!

In national news, the country managed to vote out Donald Trump! This blog is meant to be a form of meditation and relaxation for me, and the topic of politics is NOT relaxing or meditative... so we'll just leave it at that. January 20, 2021 will ring in a new era (hopefully) of positivity in this country.

Shoot Me Up!

I feel it is worth mentioning that I just received news that I'm eligible for the next round of vaccines for COVID. I was certain I wasn't going to get access to it until at LEAST the Summer.... so I'm pretty stoked. Yes, I said stoked. Megan has already gotten the vaccine. If I can just get Mom and Nick their shots, I'll be a happy camper. I know it is mainly symbolic, but I feel like it kind of closes a nasty chapter... at least for those that are close to me. I know so many others have a long and difficult road. But, hopefully before too long, we can get the remnants of 2020 behind us and enjoy an amazing 2021!