The Courage to Change...

 

I think it's a safe to say that the majority of people in recovery know what the serenity prayer is and can probably speak it by heart. It's recited at the beginning of most 12-step meetings and sometimes even at the end of the meeting. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference..." Even people NOT in recovery should know this one, it definitely helps. I know that I say it at LEAST once a day.

If I were a bettin' man, I'd say the thing that people use the prayer for the MOST would be the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change" part. It is so helpful to remind us that we are hardly ever in control. We are the mercy of so many people and things around us, that it is pointless to get so worked up over things that we have no power to change. I know there have been PLENTY of times in my life that I've come across something that I don't like, I have no power to change it into something that I am okay with and I just need to work with it the best that I can. There is no point in throwing some massive temper tantrum over it, getting pissed off at people about it, having people get pissed off at me because of my response and just blowing it out of proportion. There is DEFINITELY no point in getting drunk or high over it. That won't fix it. In most cases, that usually just makes it worse.

The other day, I was doing my normal daily meditation "ritual" in the shower (not necessarily a ritual, just the little internal conversation I have with myself about my day and how I'm going to try and handle it) when a DIFFERENT part of the prayer stuck out to me like a sore thumb. All of a sudden I started thinking on the part "COURAGE to change the things I can." It's no mystery that alcoholics and addicts don't like change. Whether you are talking about BIG change like jobs and living arrangements, to little things like how the chairs in the room are set up... totally not a fan. Change is uncomfortable, sometimes it's even painful. Sometimes it pisses people off. 

That change can look like anything from a "small" change to yourself. Maybe you need to stop drinking/smoking/whatever? Maybe you need a change in your diet. Maybe you need to pick up the exercise. Start going to church... whatever! That change can go on a bigger scale and you can help someone else with THEIR change... this is where the uncomfortableness can get a little more intense. Maybe you can help a small group of people? Maybe you can help your family? Do you have that kind of courage? To step up and do something to improve the lives of those most important to you? MAYBE the change gets even bigger and you need to do your part to help your community, your city, state or even your country. What does that look like?

I think maybe I need to stop using the serenity prayer as a reason to not doing anything. "I can't change anything. I just have to accept it." Maybe, instead, I need to start using the serenity prayer as a reason to start making BIGGER changes in my life and the lives of others. Just a thought to ponder...