2021: A Pandemic Odyssey...

Still in the midst of a pandemic that should've ended months prior, we rang in 2021 in the same fashion we spent most of 2020... avoiding crowds of people and trying to stay as safe as possible. In a lot of ways, 2021 has felt like a sequel to 2020. While there was a LOT of change, progress and big life events... a lot of 2021 felt similar to the year before. So much of the year seemed to be consumed by discussion of what we could and couldn't do because of the Coronavirus. Just think, a virus that was SUPPOSED to be done after a two week quarantine, is still part of our daily lives over two years later. Even after receiving all three doses of my vaccine, we are still impacted on the daily. So, what were some of these big life events that I mentioned?! Let me talk about the top five big things that happened to me and those around me in the year 2021:

The On-going Pandemic!

2021 started on a hopeful note when vaccines started to become available to the general public. Megan got hers almost immediately, perks of working for a hospital group. It was kind of a booger getting Mom and Nick scheduled for their shots. I finally got my first shot through a connection from a classmate, then got my second one when the health department brought the vaccine to guys out at Firstep. I seem to remember a brief reprieve, like life might've been getting back to normal eventually. Then came the "Delta" variant, followed by some normalcy, followed immediately by the "Omicron" variant. These constant waves of illnesses, people who refuse to listen to mandates and the advice from the scientific community is downright infuriating. All I can do is try to keep myself and those around me safe. Maybe we'll see some improvement in 2022.

Record-Breaking Snow!

Around Valentine's Day, huge portions of the county were hit by this absolutely massive snowstorm. The Oklahoma City area was walloped with snow, some areas receiving a foot or more. In 36 years of life, I had never seen that much snow at once. It was insane. What was even CRAZIER was how low the temperature got. I don't recall ever seeing temperatures where the HIGH temp for the day was still in the negative. Like I said... insane. What was REAL fun about it was when the heater in our house FROZE OVER, therefore causing us to have no heat in record-breaking cold. Megan and I had to pack up and move into a hotel for a week until the weather warmed up and our heater thawed out. My poor little C-Max couldn't handle that snow, so I somehow managed to get the car over to my parents' (getting stuck plenty of times along the way) and borrowed their CR-V. This storm had a HUGE impact in me deciding that I wanted an SUV for my next vehicle. LOL.

Moving... Again

2021 brought on this massive buying surge in the housing market. Everyone was selling their houses and even MORE people were buying houses. Because of this, our landlord decided that they wanted to hold off on renewing our lease and potentially putting that house up on the market. Rather than sit there and wait for them to decide to boot us out at an inopportune time, we gave them the finger and decided to move. We moved into a brand new apartment complex on the northside of Norman. It was supposedly this luxury apartment. Supposedly. While it looks nice, the build quality is pure crap. I think the walls and flooring are made of papier mache. Combine that with the fact that we have young kids with four MASSIVE dogs that live above us. Megan and I just simply aren't cut out for apartment living. We're super hopeful that, by the time our lease is up, the housing market has cooled down and we can find a house to buy. If not, we're moving again... into a rental house. Megan might not like that, but I am NOT staying in that apartment any longer than I have to.

Four Years!

In November, I celebrated four years of sustained sobriety from alcohol misuse. I didn't attend near as many AA meetings as I should've, but I stayed in contact with my sponsor on a very regular basis. Working for Firstep kept me plugged into the world of recovery. I'm surrounded by friends and family that are supportive of me in my recovery, and aren't judgmental when I have those rough days. Instead of being critical, they can help me make the right decisions. It's because of all of them that I have managed to reach year four!

John Cloud, MSW

The hard work, countless hours, tons of Zoom sessions and essay after essay finally paid off and I am officially a college graduate! I graduated from the OU School of Social Work with my MSW. I somehow managed to hold on to my 4.0, graduating with honors. I was also honored with the "Outstanding Graduate Student" award for our cohort. I know I worked my ass off, but still not quite sure I deserved that one! But, the hard work paid off and I am excited to start my next chapter as an official LMSW.

Wedding Bells

After an exciting engagement, 11 months of planning, plenty of arguments and trying to make sure that everyone involved wasn't getting their feelings getting hurt... Megan and I officially got married. While we can't remember a lot about it, the ceremony and reception were beautiful. Our official wedding cakes/cupcakes were tasty. The groom's cake was super tasty. The food was tasty. It was very moving to see the people that showed up to celebrate our special day with us. We're excited to take our honeymoon next week and start the next chapter(s) of our lives!!

2022...?

So what will 2022 have to offer? Only time will tell. I know some things that ARE on our radar include: starting a new job! I'll be a therapist with a shiny new agency in Oklahoma City, working towards my clinical hours to get my LCSW. We'll be moving into a new house (ours or a rental), I'm probably going to start looking for a more gas-friendly vehicle and we'll (hopefully) be starting a family of our own! I'm excited about 2022. I pray that it doesn't just turn 2020 into a trilogy, I want something NEW and DIFFERENT. That's right, you heard me say that I'm welcoming CHANGE!

The Vows...

 Megan Cherie… Megaroo… Meggles…Megaroni…

 

We have been together for 1,649 days. We’ve made it through a worldwide pandemic, a presidential election, a record-breaking snowstorm, lots of storms in general, loss of family members and friends, thinking we were about to get shot at Penn Square Mall, addiction, grad school, new jobs, moving in together and planning a wedding together. If we can make it through all of that, I’m confident that you and I can make it through pretty much anything… together. We’ve also celebrated together. Holidays. Birthdays. “Sober-versaries.” Road trips. We’ve seen sooooo many movies together. Season after season of Walking Dead, Stranger Things, Big Brother, every ghost-hunting TV show you can think of and cheering on our favorite wrestlers on WWE. We’ve had some amazing times together… and they’ve only just begun.

 

1,649 days!

 

I’m not too proud to admit that I haven’t been the world’s best boyfriend or fiancée during some of those days, but you’ve loved me anyway. You’ve been my cheerleader. A pseudo-sponsor on those difficult days, a study partner, my one-woman pride parade, an advocate, and a best friend.

 

1,649 days. But this is day one. Now it’s my turn to step up the plate. I promise to love you no matter how big or small our bank account is. I will cheer you on, no matter if you decide to be the world’s best Medicaid biller and collector or wherever your heart takes you.  Whether we live in a tiny apartment under a family of tap-dancing elephant trainers or a home of our very own. I will love you no matter how big or small our waistlines get. I promise to ask you whether you are looking for a solution… or if you just need to vent. Surely, we’ll experience some more tough days… but we’ll also celebrate so many big days together.

 

I remember days of sitting on the back porch at the Men’s Firstep Program, talking with my fellow clients, and sharing our story of how you and I came to be and all that you and I have been through. They’d see you every single weekend. They’d refer to you as my “old lady.” After getting used to that term, I’d smile and nod and say, “yeah she is!” They’d be sure to tell me “Bro, she’s a good one. She’s a keeper. You need to make sure to hold on to that one.” And I plan on it.

John Cloud, MSW...

 

Waaaaayyy back in 2005, when I started my higher education journey, I jumped into the world of college with the desire to do my very best. That desire can be seen on my undergraduate transcript... at least the first part of it. I consistently pulled out A's and B's. On that very same transcript, you can see where alcoholism took over. Those grades abruptly dropped to D's and F's, peppered in between a lot of "incomplete" and "withdrawn" grades. I was placed on academic probation multiple times, and even academic suspension once or twice. I deserved all of it. School, much like everything else, took a back seat to alcohol. After Firstep, I decided to give it another try, and managed to finish my undergrad degree with a few more A's. Overall, I (somehow) managed to eke out a 3.0 grade point average.

When I decided to try my hand at graduate school, working towards my MSW, I had that same desire to do my absolute best. But, I was under no impression that I was going to be THE best. I just wanted to learn how to be the best social worker I could be. I wanted to build relationships. I wanted to enjoy the experience. As the semesters crawled on, I somehow managed to hold on to a 4.0 grade point average. I earned that MSW. I built those relationships. We'll see on what kind of social worker I'll be! But the cherry on top of this whole experience was being awarded "Outstanding Graduate Student" by the faculty of OU. From what I was told, I'm apparently more of a leader than I give myself credit for. Did I deserve it? I don't know. I don't want to say no, but it feels weird saying yes. I keep looking back at that John Cloud that was perfectly okay with accepting those horrible grades, putting in minimal effort and deciding to drink instead of working on school. To go from that, to being considered "outstanding" is just mind-blowing. I'm honored. I'm flattered. I'm excited. I'm still a work in progress. Stay tuned!

FOUR...

 

126,144,000 seconds.

2,102,400 minutes.

1,460 days.

Forty-eight months.

FOUR YEARS of sobriety.

A little more than four years ago, I woke up to the idea of not having to pick up a drink. The absolutely terrifying, nauseating notion of never drinking again. Of course, I knew it was for the best... but it didn't mean that the thought didn't absolutely horrify me and scare the shit out of me. But I gave it a try. With the help of the folks from the Public Inebriate Alternative and The Recovery Center in Oklahoma City, I made it my first week sans alcohol. I was able to spend a week with those closest to me before I checked in for the long haul at Men's Firstep... and, well, you know the story.

Needless to stay, I initially started this post closer to November 14, but I got distracted. PLENTY of stuff going on in my tiny little world. Once all the dust settles, I promise to be better at blogging... in 2022. :-)

Today, life looks pretty damn good. I'm days away from graduating with my MSW. I'm days away from getting MARRIED. After that, we get to celebrate the holidays. With Christmas and New Years behind us, we get to go on this (hopefully) kick-ass honeymoon. We'll return from our honeymoon and I'll get to jump in feet-first to my new job that is opening up a lot of new opportunities for me. What's next? Kiddos? New house? New car? New dog? D - All of the above? Only time will tell.

It's been an interesting journey, full of plenty of ups and downs. It seems like I've seen far more ups as of late. Life does have a funny way of occasionally throwing in a nice curve ball to keep me humble, but I'm appreciative of the experience. The Oklahoma Board of Social Workers is requesting that I take a couple of extra steps before I get my LMSW licensure. It is solely due to my past. While filling out the application, I was given a friendly little reminder that I was a hot mess between the years of 2010-2017. Academic probation and suspension. Legal issues. Financial issues. Health issues. They are ALL related to my alcoholism. Every. Single. One. The board just wants to hear my story, hear what I've done to find that recovery and make sure that I have a plan to STAY sober while I'm in a professional setting and trying to help others.

I'd be lying if I said the phone call with the director of the board didn't spike my anxiety a bit, but I've calmed down after a while. The director reassured me AND I'm super blessed to have a good collection of people in my corner who are willing to vouch for the type of person that I am today. It's flattering and super comforting to know that I have everyone from friends and families to well-established professionals willing to go to bat for me. So now, I can relax and just enjoy the experience of getting to share my story with a new group of people.

If I were a bettin' man, I'd say the next time I write a blog, I'm gonna be a married man. That just sounds weird. lol