The Community Meeting...

The men of Firstep gather in the chow hall every Tuesday night for their "community meeting." It's where we share important news, correct what needs to be corrected, hold each other accountable, congratulate guys as they graduate from the program and celebrate other things that deserve to be celebrated. It is where the meat of the work is done in this therapeutic community. Since 2017, I've attended a LOT of community meetings as a resident of this program. Starting in 2019, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend even MORE community meetings as a case manager and member of the management team. I have a feeling that I'll be attending plenty more community meetings, but after this week, it won't be as a staff member.

No matter how rough or out of control they may get, I've always enjoyed the community meetings. You get to see these men in their natural element. Guys who may have a good grasp on recovery helping those that might need some nudges in the right direction. The words that always come to mind are "rough around the edges" or "imperfect." Some of the guys were excited for my news and congratulatory, and other guys couldn't have cared less... and that's totally okay. This is their world, THEIR recovery, and I'm just a small piece of it. These guys are in various stages of their recovery. Some of them appear to "have it," and can go on to lead happy, sober lives. Other guys, sadly, aren't quite there yet. They may have one or two (or three) more relapses in them, and hopefully they will find that bottom soon... and decide to give recovery another shot.  While the meeting goes through the motions, other guys aren't exactly paying attention. They talk to each other, try to share jokes or jabs with each other quietly. It's kind of like kids in church, the behavior might not be perfect, but I'm just glad that they are there.

The crowd is diverse. The community has guys who come from wealthy families and guys who don't have two pennies to rub together. All races, religious backgrounds, sexual orientations and everything else you can think of. They are all there for one common disease: addiction.

The most powerful point in the community meeting is always the Lord's Prayer at the end. People who start the prayer more reverently will shout out something like "WHO KEEPS US CLEAN AND SOBER?" Others will joke around and say something like "who puts the fuzz on the peaches and the sand on the beaches?" My favorite was always "who sees you naked in the shower every day?" LOL. The guys "circle up," hold hands (or bump fists) and recite the prayer together. Much like the rest of the meeting (and the guys reciting it), the prayer is imperfect. Some guys are a word or two behind the others. Some goof around while reciting it... but at least they are still reciting it. The message is there. God, please help us do YOUR will and not our own. Please keep me strong and sustain me to do the work you have called me to do. Please forgive us if we falter and help us forgive those who have wronged us. Protect us against the dangers of temptation and relapse. The prayer ends in a resounding AMEN. Some guys will wrap it up with "keep coming back, it works if you work it!" Which it does. It totally does. I always liked ending that last part with "it sucks if you don't!"

I can't help but think to myself, "I'm going to miss this place." But part of me knows that I'll never be far from the men of Firstep. No matter what my title is - LCSW, son, brother, uncle, husband, dad (someday)... one of the titles I will always be proud of is "Firstep graduate."

The City of Savannah, a Reflection...

At a first glance, Savannah is much like any other metro area. It has sprawling highways filled with bad drivers, shopping malls, and even this new restaurant called "Chili's." But from the moment we arrived Tuesday afternoon, I got this unmistakable vibe that something about this place was just... different. To me, It almost seemed as there were several sides to Savannah. There was the part that was trying to be this stereotypical modern city with all the amenities that would appeal to a 21st century citizen. Another part was a city desperately trying to hold on to the vestiges of this pristine, historic place. The last part was this historic city, but with the REAL history of some of the dark and disturbing things that happened even before the Revolutionary and Civil Wars.

One of the first things that we did in Savannah was walk through the sprawling (and gorgeous, albeit sad) Bonaventure Cemetery. From that point on, I realized that this city is pretty much OBSESSED with death. From the Revolutionary War, the busiest slave port in the south, the Civil War, and several epidemics of Yellow Fever... the city has seen plenty of death.  Huge cemeteries, ghost tours, and haunted EVERYTHING. You look at these beautiful and stately homes all around the city and then find out that most of them are haunted, and have some sort of horrific tale of someone dying a grisly death within the walls of the home.

While the owning of slaves was originally banned within Savannah city limits, the powers-that-be quickly changed their minds in order to keep up with bigger, more successful cities like Charleston and New Orleans. The beauty and extravagance you see in Savannah was built on the backs of slaves. Yet many of the historical locations in the city completely glaze over the fact that slaves were even part of the city's history. At one point, more slaves were brought in through Savannah's port than any other place in the south. The cobblestone streets near the river is called "Factor's Walk" and would've been one of the main paths where these slaves had to take to get to wherever they were to be sold. When Megan and I walked along the river, we noticed these stone "vaults" lining the cobblestone streets. Historical markers mentioned that they were for the storing of goods, but completely jumped over what TYPE of goods. It isn't until I talked to some of the locals that I found out that the vaults were meant for storing slaves until they were sold.

One of the museums we visited was the Owens-Thomas House & Slave Quarters. It went into detail on how a wealthy family would've lived during that time, but also went into great detail on what the slaves who were owned by that family would've gone through as well. I noticed that the exhibits and displays on slaves were only added into the museum in 2018, so some places are starting to realize that they need to share the WHOLE history... not just the "pretty" part of it.

I enjoyed the fact that Savannah was very arts-centric. So much so, that it seemed like every other building in the downtown area was another building for classes or residence halls for the Savannah College of Arts & Design. Historical jail? SCAD. Hospital? SCAD. Beautiful mansion? SCAD. Vintage theater? SCAD. Are you seeing the trend here? I remember when I visited New Orleans, being overwhelmed by the vibe that I just wanted to find a balcony somewhere and write or draw or just CREATE something. While we were in Savannah, our hotel room was right off this beautiful balcony that overlooked Broughton Street. I took plenty of opportunities to sit out on the balcony with my journal.

The movie nerd in me LOVED being in a place where I know that many of my favorite movies were filmed. We walked through Chippewa Square, where the famous bench scenes were filmed for "Forrest Gump." Of course, Savannah is known for being the primary setting for "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." We were able to see the outside of the infamous Mercer House, Bonaventure Cemetery and the famous "Bird Girl" sculpture (pictured above), all which were made famous partially because of that film. Our tour guide for the hearse tour also told us that a new "Exorcist" trilogy was being filmed in Savannah as well!

Other than a few bumps in the road, we thoroughly enjoyed our honeymoon. I'm so glad that we picked Savannah as our main stop during our little road trip through Georgia. I felt that Megan and I balanced our time with tourist-y stuff, museums, and just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Savannah is definitely like Washington D.C., in that you need to visit several times in order to capture all (or most) of what Savannah has to offer. I'm definitely down for another trip! Maybe in the spring or summer, when flights aren't threatened by winter weather...