The men of Firstep gather in the chow hall every Tuesday night for their "community meeting." It's where we share important news, correct what needs to be corrected, hold each other accountable, congratulate guys as they graduate from the program and celebrate other things that deserve to be celebrated. It is where the meat of the work is done in this therapeutic community. Since 2017, I've attended a LOT of community meetings as a resident of this program. Starting in 2019, I was blessed with the opportunity to attend even MORE community meetings as a case manager and member of the management team. I have a feeling that I'll be attending plenty more community meetings, but after this week, it won't be as a staff member.
No matter how rough or out of control they may get, I've always enjoyed the community meetings. You get to see these men in their natural element. Guys who may have a good grasp on recovery helping those that might need some nudges in the right direction. The words that always come to mind are "rough around the edges" or "imperfect." Some of the guys were excited for my news and congratulatory, and other guys couldn't have cared less... and that's totally okay. This is their world, THEIR recovery, and I'm just a small piece of it. These guys are in various stages of their recovery. Some of them appear to "have it," and can go on to lead happy, sober lives. Other guys, sadly, aren't quite there yet. They may have one or two (or three) more relapses in them, and hopefully they will find that bottom soon... and decide to give recovery another shot. While the meeting goes through the motions, other guys aren't exactly paying attention. They talk to each other, try to share jokes or jabs with each other quietly. It's kind of like kids in church, the behavior might not be perfect, but I'm just glad that they are there.
The crowd is diverse. The community has guys who come from wealthy families and guys who don't have two pennies to rub together. All races, religious backgrounds, sexual orientations and everything else you can think of. They are all there for one common disease: addiction.
The most powerful point in the community meeting is always the Lord's Prayer at the end. People who start the prayer more reverently will shout out something like "WHO KEEPS US CLEAN AND SOBER?" Others will joke around and say something like "who puts the fuzz on the peaches and the sand on the beaches?" My favorite was always "who sees you naked in the shower every day?" LOL. The guys "circle up," hold hands (or bump fists) and recite the prayer together. Much like the rest of the meeting (and the guys reciting it), the prayer is imperfect. Some guys are a word or two behind the others. Some goof around while reciting it... but at least they are still reciting it. The message is there. God, please help us do YOUR will and not our own. Please keep me strong and sustain me to do the work you have called me to do. Please forgive us if we falter and help us forgive those who have wronged us. Protect us against the dangers of temptation and relapse. The prayer ends in a resounding AMEN. Some guys will wrap it up with "keep coming back, it works if you work it!" Which it does. It totally does. I always liked ending that last part with "it sucks if you don't!"
I can't help but think to myself, "I'm going to miss this place." But part of me knows that I'll never be far from the men of Firstep. No matter what my title is - LCSW, son, brother, uncle, husband, dad (someday)... one of the titles I will always be proud of is "Firstep graduate."
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