2021: A Pandemic Odyssey...

Still in the midst of a pandemic that should've ended months prior, we rang in 2021 in the same fashion we spent most of 2020... avoiding crowds of people and trying to stay as safe as possible. In a lot of ways, 2021 has felt like a sequel to 2020. While there was a LOT of change, progress and big life events... a lot of 2021 felt similar to the year before. So much of the year seemed to be consumed by discussion of what we could and couldn't do because of the Coronavirus. Just think, a virus that was SUPPOSED to be done after a two week quarantine, is still part of our daily lives over two years later. Even after receiving all three doses of my vaccine, we are still impacted on the daily. So, what were some of these big life events that I mentioned?! Let me talk about the top five big things that happened to me and those around me in the year 2021:

The On-going Pandemic!

2021 started on a hopeful note when vaccines started to become available to the general public. Megan got hers almost immediately, perks of working for a hospital group. It was kind of a booger getting Mom and Nick scheduled for their shots. I finally got my first shot through a connection from a classmate, then got my second one when the health department brought the vaccine to guys out at Firstep. I seem to remember a brief reprieve, like life might've been getting back to normal eventually. Then came the "Delta" variant, followed by some normalcy, followed immediately by the "Omicron" variant. These constant waves of illnesses, people who refuse to listen to mandates and the advice from the scientific community is downright infuriating. All I can do is try to keep myself and those around me safe. Maybe we'll see some improvement in 2022.

Record-Breaking Snow!

Around Valentine's Day, huge portions of the county were hit by this absolutely massive snowstorm. The Oklahoma City area was walloped with snow, some areas receiving a foot or more. In 36 years of life, I had never seen that much snow at once. It was insane. What was even CRAZIER was how low the temperature got. I don't recall ever seeing temperatures where the HIGH temp for the day was still in the negative. Like I said... insane. What was REAL fun about it was when the heater in our house FROZE OVER, therefore causing us to have no heat in record-breaking cold. Megan and I had to pack up and move into a hotel for a week until the weather warmed up and our heater thawed out. My poor little C-Max couldn't handle that snow, so I somehow managed to get the car over to my parents' (getting stuck plenty of times along the way) and borrowed their CR-V. This storm had a HUGE impact in me deciding that I wanted an SUV for my next vehicle. LOL.

Moving... Again

2021 brought on this massive buying surge in the housing market. Everyone was selling their houses and even MORE people were buying houses. Because of this, our landlord decided that they wanted to hold off on renewing our lease and potentially putting that house up on the market. Rather than sit there and wait for them to decide to boot us out at an inopportune time, we gave them the finger and decided to move. We moved into a brand new apartment complex on the northside of Norman. It was supposedly this luxury apartment. Supposedly. While it looks nice, the build quality is pure crap. I think the walls and flooring are made of papier mache. Combine that with the fact that we have young kids with four MASSIVE dogs that live above us. Megan and I just simply aren't cut out for apartment living. We're super hopeful that, by the time our lease is up, the housing market has cooled down and we can find a house to buy. If not, we're moving again... into a rental house. Megan might not like that, but I am NOT staying in that apartment any longer than I have to.

Four Years!

In November, I celebrated four years of sustained sobriety from alcohol misuse. I didn't attend near as many AA meetings as I should've, but I stayed in contact with my sponsor on a very regular basis. Working for Firstep kept me plugged into the world of recovery. I'm surrounded by friends and family that are supportive of me in my recovery, and aren't judgmental when I have those rough days. Instead of being critical, they can help me make the right decisions. It's because of all of them that I have managed to reach year four!

John Cloud, MSW

The hard work, countless hours, tons of Zoom sessions and essay after essay finally paid off and I am officially a college graduate! I graduated from the OU School of Social Work with my MSW. I somehow managed to hold on to my 4.0, graduating with honors. I was also honored with the "Outstanding Graduate Student" award for our cohort. I know I worked my ass off, but still not quite sure I deserved that one! But, the hard work paid off and I am excited to start my next chapter as an official LMSW.

Wedding Bells

After an exciting engagement, 11 months of planning, plenty of arguments and trying to make sure that everyone involved wasn't getting their feelings getting hurt... Megan and I officially got married. While we can't remember a lot about it, the ceremony and reception were beautiful. Our official wedding cakes/cupcakes were tasty. The groom's cake was super tasty. The food was tasty. It was very moving to see the people that showed up to celebrate our special day with us. We're excited to take our honeymoon next week and start the next chapter(s) of our lives!!

2022...?

So what will 2022 have to offer? Only time will tell. I know some things that ARE on our radar include: starting a new job! I'll be a therapist with a shiny new agency in Oklahoma City, working towards my clinical hours to get my LCSW. We'll be moving into a new house (ours or a rental), I'm probably going to start looking for a more gas-friendly vehicle and we'll (hopefully) be starting a family of our own! I'm excited about 2022. I pray that it doesn't just turn 2020 into a trilogy, I want something NEW and DIFFERENT. That's right, you heard me say that I'm welcoming CHANGE!

The Vows...

 Megan Cherie… Megaroo… Meggles…Megaroni…

 

We have been together for 1,649 days. We’ve made it through a worldwide pandemic, a presidential election, a record-breaking snowstorm, lots of storms in general, loss of family members and friends, thinking we were about to get shot at Penn Square Mall, addiction, grad school, new jobs, moving in together and planning a wedding together. If we can make it through all of that, I’m confident that you and I can make it through pretty much anything… together. We’ve also celebrated together. Holidays. Birthdays. “Sober-versaries.” Road trips. We’ve seen sooooo many movies together. Season after season of Walking Dead, Stranger Things, Big Brother, every ghost-hunting TV show you can think of and cheering on our favorite wrestlers on WWE. We’ve had some amazing times together… and they’ve only just begun.

 

1,649 days!

 

I’m not too proud to admit that I haven’t been the world’s best boyfriend or fiancée during some of those days, but you’ve loved me anyway. You’ve been my cheerleader. A pseudo-sponsor on those difficult days, a study partner, my one-woman pride parade, an advocate, and a best friend.

 

1,649 days. But this is day one. Now it’s my turn to step up the plate. I promise to love you no matter how big or small our bank account is. I will cheer you on, no matter if you decide to be the world’s best Medicaid biller and collector or wherever your heart takes you.  Whether we live in a tiny apartment under a family of tap-dancing elephant trainers or a home of our very own. I will love you no matter how big or small our waistlines get. I promise to ask you whether you are looking for a solution… or if you just need to vent. Surely, we’ll experience some more tough days… but we’ll also celebrate so many big days together.

 

I remember days of sitting on the back porch at the Men’s Firstep Program, talking with my fellow clients, and sharing our story of how you and I came to be and all that you and I have been through. They’d see you every single weekend. They’d refer to you as my “old lady.” After getting used to that term, I’d smile and nod and say, “yeah she is!” They’d be sure to tell me “Bro, she’s a good one. She’s a keeper. You need to make sure to hold on to that one.” And I plan on it.

John Cloud, MSW...

 

Waaaaayyy back in 2005, when I started my higher education journey, I jumped into the world of college with the desire to do my very best. That desire can be seen on my undergraduate transcript... at least the first part of it. I consistently pulled out A's and B's. On that very same transcript, you can see where alcoholism took over. Those grades abruptly dropped to D's and F's, peppered in between a lot of "incomplete" and "withdrawn" grades. I was placed on academic probation multiple times, and even academic suspension once or twice. I deserved all of it. School, much like everything else, took a back seat to alcohol. After Firstep, I decided to give it another try, and managed to finish my undergrad degree with a few more A's. Overall, I (somehow) managed to eke out a 3.0 grade point average.

When I decided to try my hand at graduate school, working towards my MSW, I had that same desire to do my absolute best. But, I was under no impression that I was going to be THE best. I just wanted to learn how to be the best social worker I could be. I wanted to build relationships. I wanted to enjoy the experience. As the semesters crawled on, I somehow managed to hold on to a 4.0 grade point average. I earned that MSW. I built those relationships. We'll see on what kind of social worker I'll be! But the cherry on top of this whole experience was being awarded "Outstanding Graduate Student" by the faculty of OU. From what I was told, I'm apparently more of a leader than I give myself credit for. Did I deserve it? I don't know. I don't want to say no, but it feels weird saying yes. I keep looking back at that John Cloud that was perfectly okay with accepting those horrible grades, putting in minimal effort and deciding to drink instead of working on school. To go from that, to being considered "outstanding" is just mind-blowing. I'm honored. I'm flattered. I'm excited. I'm still a work in progress. Stay tuned!

FOUR...

 

126,144,000 seconds.

2,102,400 minutes.

1,460 days.

Forty-eight months.

FOUR YEARS of sobriety.

A little more than four years ago, I woke up to the idea of not having to pick up a drink. The absolutely terrifying, nauseating notion of never drinking again. Of course, I knew it was for the best... but it didn't mean that the thought didn't absolutely horrify me and scare the shit out of me. But I gave it a try. With the help of the folks from the Public Inebriate Alternative and The Recovery Center in Oklahoma City, I made it my first week sans alcohol. I was able to spend a week with those closest to me before I checked in for the long haul at Men's Firstep... and, well, you know the story.

Needless to stay, I initially started this post closer to November 14, but I got distracted. PLENTY of stuff going on in my tiny little world. Once all the dust settles, I promise to be better at blogging... in 2022. :-)

Today, life looks pretty damn good. I'm days away from graduating with my MSW. I'm days away from getting MARRIED. After that, we get to celebrate the holidays. With Christmas and New Years behind us, we get to go on this (hopefully) kick-ass honeymoon. We'll return from our honeymoon and I'll get to jump in feet-first to my new job that is opening up a lot of new opportunities for me. What's next? Kiddos? New house? New car? New dog? D - All of the above? Only time will tell.

It's been an interesting journey, full of plenty of ups and downs. It seems like I've seen far more ups as of late. Life does have a funny way of occasionally throwing in a nice curve ball to keep me humble, but I'm appreciative of the experience. The Oklahoma Board of Social Workers is requesting that I take a couple of extra steps before I get my LMSW licensure. It is solely due to my past. While filling out the application, I was given a friendly little reminder that I was a hot mess between the years of 2010-2017. Academic probation and suspension. Legal issues. Financial issues. Health issues. They are ALL related to my alcoholism. Every. Single. One. The board just wants to hear my story, hear what I've done to find that recovery and make sure that I have a plan to STAY sober while I'm in a professional setting and trying to help others.

I'd be lying if I said the phone call with the director of the board didn't spike my anxiety a bit, but I've calmed down after a while. The director reassured me AND I'm super blessed to have a good collection of people in my corner who are willing to vouch for the type of person that I am today. It's flattering and super comforting to know that I have everyone from friends and families to well-established professionals willing to go to bat for me. So now, I can relax and just enjoy the experience of getting to share my story with a new group of people.

If I were a bettin' man, I'd say the next time I write a blog, I'm gonna be a married man. That just sounds weird. lol

Ode To A Mancave...

 When Megan and I started the loooonnng process of searching for a home of our own, we both came to the table with a few "must-haves" that we wanted in a house or an apartment. She REALLY wanted a garage. While I was indifferent... I have to admit, I am SO glad I came to my senses on that one. She wanted a guest bedroom. Again, I was indifferent... most of our family and friends live fairly close to us and have places of their own? Who's gonna stay there? But, I agreed. My only must-have was that I HAD to have a "man cave." It was a place where I could finish up my graduate program. It was a vital place for me to recharge my batteries after a long day of whatever.

I moved in to the house first, living pretty much by myself for the first month. Even with the rest of the house fully furnished, I only used three spaces... the kitchen, the bedroom and my cave. It has everything I need. My computer set-up. Books. TV. Comfy spot to recline. I can use it to play PS4, binge-watch Netflix, knock out some papers for school, meet with classmates via "Zoom," or watch the seemingly countless lecture videos. 

While the space is important and the stuff inside is important, it is what it represents that is the most important. It is a safe space, a comfortable space. A space for respite. I am so fortunate that Megan fully understands the need for that space. She knows what's going on when I go back to work on mountains of homework. She even understands when I come home from work and tell her, "I just need to go back to the cave for a bit to wind down." She nods, gives me a kiss and lets me do my thing. I've accomplished some pretty amazing things in this room. Homework. Beat up on some n00bs (lol) on Call of Duty. Most importantly, it's also the space where I FINALLY proposed to her. She said yes (duh.)

Who knows whether or not I will always have a space to call my man cave, but I sure do appreciate the one that I have right now.

The Courage to Change...

 

I think it's a safe to say that the majority of people in recovery know what the serenity prayer is and can probably speak it by heart. It's recited at the beginning of most 12-step meetings and sometimes even at the end of the meeting. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference..." Even people NOT in recovery should know this one, it definitely helps. I know that I say it at LEAST once a day.

If I were a bettin' man, I'd say the thing that people use the prayer for the MOST would be the "serenity to accept the things I cannot change" part. It is so helpful to remind us that we are hardly ever in control. We are the mercy of so many people and things around us, that it is pointless to get so worked up over things that we have no power to change. I know there have been PLENTY of times in my life that I've come across something that I don't like, I have no power to change it into something that I am okay with and I just need to work with it the best that I can. There is no point in throwing some massive temper tantrum over it, getting pissed off at people about it, having people get pissed off at me because of my response and just blowing it out of proportion. There is DEFINITELY no point in getting drunk or high over it. That won't fix it. In most cases, that usually just makes it worse.

The other day, I was doing my normal daily meditation "ritual" in the shower (not necessarily a ritual, just the little internal conversation I have with myself about my day and how I'm going to try and handle it) when a DIFFERENT part of the prayer stuck out to me like a sore thumb. All of a sudden I started thinking on the part "COURAGE to change the things I can." It's no mystery that alcoholics and addicts don't like change. Whether you are talking about BIG change like jobs and living arrangements, to little things like how the chairs in the room are set up... totally not a fan. Change is uncomfortable, sometimes it's even painful. Sometimes it pisses people off. 

That change can look like anything from a "small" change to yourself. Maybe you need to stop drinking/smoking/whatever? Maybe you need a change in your diet. Maybe you need to pick up the exercise. Start going to church... whatever! That change can go on a bigger scale and you can help someone else with THEIR change... this is where the uncomfortableness can get a little more intense. Maybe you can help a small group of people? Maybe you can help your family? Do you have that kind of courage? To step up and do something to improve the lives of those most important to you? MAYBE the change gets even bigger and you need to do your part to help your community, your city, state or even your country. What does that look like?

I think maybe I need to stop using the serenity prayer as a reason to not doing anything. "I can't change anything. I just have to accept it." Maybe, instead, I need to start using the serenity prayer as a reason to start making BIGGER changes in my life and the lives of others. Just a thought to ponder...

So, there's this girl...

Needless to say, before November 2017, I was a total mess. I wouldn't even add the word "hot" to it. I was BAD. I had pretty much decided that I was going to pull myself out of the dating scene because, honestly, who would date a 32 year old that still lives with his parents? Even before that point, my relationship history had been all over the map. Literally. I may have lived on my own and had a fairly decent job, but I didn't know who I was or what the hell I wanted out of life. By Spring/Summer 2017, I had decided that I should probably just focus on me for a bit. Then I got this random message out of nowhere on a dating app that I rarely checked anymore... and wound up striking up a conversation with this pseudo-country (what I would've considered strike 1) Catholic (another red flag at the time) girl from Norman (the last girl from Norman that I dated wasn't exactly a winner either). I gave it a shot and we wound up surprisingly hitting it off and making a fairly decent connection.

I would say that our relationship was anything but normal, but neither of us were exactly the poster children of normal ourselves. We were both a little on the older side, we had both been through the relationship wringer and I think we were both just tired. We were tired of being someone's #2, when we should've been a #1. We were tired of being hurt, lied to and taken advantage of all the time. We were tired of the "dating" scene, the courtship process and that loooong journey it sometimes takes to convince someone that "hey, I want this person to be my GF/BF." We were both content with just being with each other. We didn't REQUIRE (not to say that they aren't nice) fancy dates. While we enjoyed nights out at a nice restaurant, we were just as content with picking up some burgers from Braum's and watching "Nailed It" on Netflix.

We had a few bumps in the road earlier on, most of them were brought on by me. A lot of it came from two people who were just used to being by themselves or being in bad relationships. Learning how to communicate. Learning how to compromise. Learning how to be comfortable enough to share the things that make people uncomfortable... that was a big one. We had plenty of uncomfortable conversations about our pasts. The most uncomfortable was when she came across the fact that I had been hiding my struggles with alcoholism. She had her suspicions, but she was nowhere near how bad it really was.

When the bottom dropped out and I decided I was going to go into treatment, I gave her the option of going our separate ways. She didn't sign up for this. She didn't deserve this... but she stayed anyway. She was easily one of my main pillars of support during those six months and the long months after I completed treatment. Life has gotten so infinitely better since I got sober, and I'm so incredibly blessed that she has stuck by my side through it all. I don't think I would've gotten sober without her.

A little over a year ago, we decided to move in together. We found that cute little house in Moore. The year has been FAR from easy. We've survived a pandemic together. We've survived storms together. We've survived some of the coldest weather in Oklahoma history together. We've also had plenty of incredibly moments. We love our nights watching wrestling or the Walking Dead together. We love having people over for dinner, games and hilarious conversations.

A couple of weeks ago (months ago? I don't know, time flies) I FINALLY popped the question, and (of course) she said yes lol. Now we have the fun (is it fun???) process of planning the wedding...

The John Edwards Conundrum...

 

When John Cloud was just a young boy, about the age of 14 or 15, he decided he thought the world of politics was pretty damned interesting. Being born and raised in Oklahoma, he was heavily influenced that the "Grand Ole Party" was the way to go. Republicans through and through. Elephants 4 LYFE! For the school newspaper, he even held an impartial (HA!) poll on picture day on who Moore West Jr. High would elect for president, GWB or Al Gore. GWB won hands down. He remembers feeling disgust towards those who would vote for Gore... eeewww... a democrat. 

Okay, okay. Enough third person shit...

But as I reached voting age, I started this weird habit where I started actually THINKING for myself. My thoughts on capital punishment, LGBTQ rights, pro-choice, etc. put me far more in line with the Democratic party than it did the Republicans. So I jumped in headfirst. It just so happened to be around the time of the 2004 presidential election, and I thoughtfully researched the slew of Democratic candidates there were to pick from. General Wesley Clark was a favorite of mine, I also liked John Kerry and Al Sharpton. But then I found... John Edwards. He was a handsome, well-spoken senator from North Carolina. He supported LGBTQ rights, was pro-choice, was not in favor of a long war in Iraq and a slew of other policy issues that I agreed with. I had found "my guy." I even almost put his bumper sticker on my Mustang! Sadly, he withdrew from the race. He eventually became the Democrat's choice for vice president with John Kerry. They lost and we got GWB for another four years. He ran again in 2008, but was eclipsed quickly by both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. He didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. But I still liked him, a lot. I followed his political career and hoped he would stay a prominent figure... until Rielle Hunter came along.

Just kidding, I don't blame Ms. Hunter in this whatsoever, but that was just a good segue. Shortly after he dropped out, news broke that he had been involved in an extramarital affair with Rielle Hunter. I think I remember they even had a child together. That alone is absolutely horrible. But then you add on to the fact that he cheated on his wife, while she was dying from cancer. You don't get much lower than that. Lower than low. 

I have strong opinions on cheating. You can ask anyone. They destroy families, wreck lives and hurt a LOT! I speak from experience...Anyways, I dropped Edwards like a bad habit. I may have liked a lot of his stances on policy, but his behavior was abhorrent. That was that. I walked away, it was done. We broke up. It was over with. I told him to come get his shit and never talk to me again.

So... to make the connection to current events, why can't Trump supporters make that decision? Why don't they see the absolutely HORRID things he has done? Cut him loose! Say enough is enough! Unhitch your buggie (is that the saying??) from him and move the Hell on! I actually knew a small handful of people who have done this. They admit they voted for him. They don't feel good about it. They've learned what an absolute knob-job he is and they changed their minds. This is America! You have the right to learn things and change your mind if you learn something new that you don't like. I'll never understand. The man is officially out of office, he has no power anymore and can't do anything for you. He never would've done anything for you if he was STILL in his office. But he still has those avid, cult-like fans. Let him go. Move on. He's an asshat, and idolizing him makes you look like an asshat too.

Another Day of Infamy...

I was in the third grade when the attack happened on the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City. April 19, 1995. I think I was really too young to understand the gravity of the situation, but I know it scared me. A lot of people died, and even more people got hurt... all at the hands of (mainly) one angry individual. How could someone do that? Even more so, how could that happen so close to home?

On September 11, 2001, I was a sophomore in high school. I was listening to the events unfold while I attempted to take notes in my US History class. I wasn't so young anymore and I fully understood the gravity of the situation. There was a group of people outside of the United States that wanted to cause significant harm to innocent people within our own borders. It was terrifying. That naïve feeling of near-invincibility was absolutely shattered.

January 6, 2021 will join those days, and many other "days of infamy" that have happened in the United States. They are dates to be remembered, not because of some good or positive thing that happened... but when America was attacked because of who we were and/or what we stood for. Last Wednesday, the US Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. was overrun by a group of domestic terrorists. The violent mob was sent there to cause destruction by none other than our very own President. A crowd in the thousands marched down Pennsylvania Avenue, at the request of Trump, and angrily protested in front of the Capitol. Inside the building were joint sessions of the House and Senate, completing the (mainly ceremonial) counting of the electoral college vote results for the 2020 Presidential election. The votes had been tallied, the deed had been done, there was basically nothing that anyone in opposition to the results could do to change the outcome. But this mob had been lied to and told there was a chance. So they acted... violently.

Albeit late, the police and national guard DID finally show up and they re-took control. The dust eventually settled. Members of congress actually came back into the very place that had just been desecrated and completed the task they had been sent their to fulfill. Despite cries of a rigged election, (unsuccessful) court hearings, press conferences, rallies, and now a riot... Joe Biden is going to be the President of the United States. 

April 19 was really where the "Oklahoma Standard" was created. Our state came together, united and healed. September 11 was pretty much the same. People ceased being democrats and republicans, they were Americans (cheesy, right?). Part of the healing process and unity involved holding the responsible parties accountable for what they had done. Timothy McVeigh was arrested, tried and eventually put to death. September 11 eventually drew us into a long drawn-out war with Afghani terror groups. So, how does America heal from this tragedy? Like April 19, this attack came from within. The main culprit of this crime just so happens to be the leader of a political party and the current sitting President. A disturbingly large number of his supporters have fused their identities with their support for him, making it impossible for them to not feel attacked when he is criticized. You disapprove of Trump? You disapprove of who they are at their core...or that's how they perceive it. How do people get so intrinsically connected to a single individual? It's almost cult-like. But that is a whole other post (ooh! Good idea!) topic. 

So where do we go from here? I honestly have no clue. The optimistic side of me thinks that truth and love and all that positive stuff will prevail. The pessimistic side of me wonders how I will ever be able to look at those people that supported this attack again. There are people that I have loved and cared for, people that have meant a lot to me and helped me along in my journey. This past week revealed a darker, uglier side of these people. How do I move on? How do we proceed and pretend that everything is okay? Even if justice IS served and those who were involved get what is coming to them, there are MILLIONS of "normal" Americans that thought what happened on Wednesday was "fuckin' great!" Some people will sit in jail, while MANY more will continue to live like nothing ever happened. Much like everything else, I guess I'll just take it one day at a time.

2020: The Year That Wasn't...

Forgive me, if I decide to spare us all from my standard "year in review" post. I think we can all agree that this year was ANYTHING but standard...

It seems like it was so long ago... New Year's Eve 2019 fell on a Tuesday. Megan had to work late, so any sort of evening frivolities weren't really possible. It's not like we really WANTED to get out and about in all that craziness, but it's nice to at least have the OPTION. So, we rang in the new year at Megan's place. I remember sitting on Megan's couch (well, not really a couch... more like a REALLY tiny loveseat) and ringing in 2020. I had that feeling of relief wash over me, because 2019 just wasn't a good year (does that sound familiar?)… For the life of me, I can't even remember WHY I thought 2019 was so horrid, but I remember thinking along the lines of "thank GOD this year is almost over, we can start fresh with 2020." 

We all know how 2020 turned out. To call it a dumpster fire wouldn't be fair to dumpsters... or fires. It seems like so much harm was done. The world of politics will probably never be the same. How kids go to school has changed. How we celebrate holidays changed. So many jobs lost. So many people died. But... is it possible that there was some actual good that came out of this year? Let's take a look, shall we?

I got a new roomie!

In January, Megan and I signed the official paperwork... ok, not THAT official paperwork... but the forms that made us the tenants of a pretty little house in Moore, Oklahoma. I moved in to the new abode in February, Megan moved in after her lease was up in March. She moved in RIGHT as the pandemic was starting to pick up speed, so we went through that first "hunker down" together. We've hit a few bumps here and there, but nothing that we couldn't overcome. I think we have a pretty good little routine and we enjoy living with each other. Right, Megan? Megan... hello? Anyone? lol

Rockin' that 4.0

Four semesters later, I'm still kickin' ass and taking names on my graduate degree. I have taken some pretty amazing classes that have opened my eyes to a lot of other opportunities on what I can do with my degree once I graduate. I completed my first year of practicum, which I was able to complete out at Firstep. It has been a total blessing to get to finish practicum WHILE I'm at work. So many people have to struggle balancing schedules of work, school AND practicum hours. I've enjoyed my field instructor. She's a bit of an ass-kicker, but that's what I need from time to time. It's so exciting to think that, by this time next year, I'll be a college graduate... again!

3 Years and Going STRONG!

In November of 2020, I celebrated 3 years of maintained sobriety. It hasn't been an easy year, by far. I'm so glad that I had a little bit of time under my belt before the pandemic hit. The people that are starting to get sober in this time are stronger than they realize. I admire the hell out of the guys that have stuck it out while at Firstep. Quarantine has cancelled passes, limited visitation and just about put a kink in every "perk" the guys get while trying to complete the program. The majority of them do it without a whole bunch of complaining. Those guys that DO complain, well... I understand where they're coming from. I didn't go to a single in-person meeting since March. AA meetings have resorted to using ZOOM, which I just can't get into. It's so impersonal. I already use Zoom for school and work, so I hate using it for my recovery as well. I've been fortunate to have a pretty good system of recovery in place, because I would NOT recommend that anyone go without a meeting for this long. As soon as I feel comfortable, my ass is going to be in one of those chairs at Live and Let Live.

Joe Biden For President!

In national news, the country managed to vote out Donald Trump! This blog is meant to be a form of meditation and relaxation for me, and the topic of politics is NOT relaxing or meditative... so we'll just leave it at that. January 20, 2021 will ring in a new era (hopefully) of positivity in this country.

Shoot Me Up!

I feel it is worth mentioning that I just received news that I'm eligible for the next round of vaccines for COVID. I was certain I wasn't going to get access to it until at LEAST the Summer.... so I'm pretty stoked. Yes, I said stoked. Megan has already gotten the vaccine. If I can just get Mom and Nick their shots, I'll be a happy camper. I know it is mainly symbolic, but I feel like it kind of closes a nasty chapter... at least for those that are close to me. I know so many others have a long and difficult road. But, hopefully before too long, we can get the remnants of 2020 behind us and enjoy an amazing 2021!