I rang in 10 luscious months of sobriety this Friday, surrounded by friends, loved ones and a parking lot full of fellow alcoholics at the Western Club. I received my chip and was able to share (briefly) on how I was doing it. I have a lot of support from some pretty amazing people in my life AND I'm reaching out and passing this gift on to the next person who is struggling to stay sober. Those are the ways that I'm doing it.
It boggles my mind to think about the fact that, the very next morning, I woke up WAY too damn early and drove BACK out to Firstep to pick up two of the newer guys and take them to one of the Saturday morning men's meetings. Me. I actually chose to wake up early on a SATURDAY and drive out into the wilderness (ok, not the wilderness... it's like SW 104th street and W. Stanley Draper Drive, but still...) to pick up two guys and drive 'em back out to the clubhouse I was JUST at the night before. This program makes you do silly things, I'm telling you.
So, I'm sitting there with two of the guys from Firstep, with the intention of getting them connected with other men in the program who could potentially be permanent sponsors. It doesn't take me long to realize that the meeting I had MEANT to bring them to was the 8:00 AM, but because I do have a lazy streak, I decided that I was going to bring them to the 9:15 meeting instead... well, I guess there is really no such thing as the WRONG meeting. I guess you can say that the meeting you go to is the meeting you were meant to attend. I told them we'd try the 8:00 meeting next weekend. (WHAT?! Waking up early two Saturdays in a ROW?! Are you mental??) Anyways... the meeting was really good, I got a lot out of it and so did the guys. One of the two actually picked up his 60 day chip. Man oh man, remembering where I was at 60 days...
It was odd, though, my attention kept getting drawn back to this one chair two rows in front of us. It was simple, brown and metal with a small vinyl cushion. You know how the cushion will take the shape of someone's ass after they have been sitting there a while? That was this seat. Yeah, a meeting had just ended about 15 minutes or more prior to me noticing the chair, but all of the other empty cushions in the room had already returned to a "normal" shape. It was as if someone was still sitting there. My mind wandered and I got cheesy for a moment and thought something along the lines of "ooh! There's a ghost sitting there..." But it flipped a switch. Maybe that was the case? The Western Club has been around for a long, long time. People have had loooooooong bouts of sobriety in that clubhouse and have passed away. So many people find AA clubhouses like the Western Club to be a place of peace and respite. Who's to say that a person's spirit couldn't find rest in a place like that as well? Just an odd thought.
While I have reached the milestone (to me) of 10 months, and have accepted the honesty that I never (truly) got much beyond MAYBE a month of honest sobriety before relapsing, I've seen many men at the Western Club and other clubhouses with 30+ years of sobriety with regular attendance of AA meetings. It's a thought-provoking realization to know that this is just the beginning. In the end, 10 months will be a little blip on the radar of my sobriety. (OOOOOH that was deep. Go me.) But, as for now, I'm pretty stoked that I just managed to not go out there and drink today. I'm proud of myself. Yep. You read that right. I'm proud. Of myself. Me.
Friday also marked the seven-year "friend-a-versary" for Nick and me. Yeah, he's been in my life for 20ish years at this point, but we became Facebook friends in 2011. So I posted this slightly over-the-top and sappy post about what Nick means to me... and it was all 100% honest. Then, by the end of this weekend Nick wound up in the hospital. Early reports involved a blood clot in his spleen and a rush to the ER and it was all very shocking and discombobulating. I teared up on the way home to shower and pick Mom up to go up to the hospital. He's spending the night at St. Anthony, but he's going to be ok. They're just observing. I brought Mom home and let her get some rest too. We're getting closer to 11 or so and I have work in the morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment