When I finished up with 2016, it didn't exactly end with a "bang." It was more like a loud "THUD." Maybe you could throw in the gaspy, wheezy sounds of someone having an asthma attack or something. The START of 2016 seemed really promising. I was in my first coordinator position for the OU College of Medicine, complete with a handsome salary and my own office. However, my year was marred by a series of unfortunate choices (made by me) and the icky consequences that I faced because of them. I ENDED 2016 with a half-assed attempt to stop my self-destructive decisions and instead turned my attention to trying to put myself back together and give another "go" at a "normal life." In order to do that, the first thing that I had to do was to get back to work. Even though I applied MANY places, I came back empty-handed time and time again. Around Thanksgiving, I was finally offered a job. Although it wasn't somewhere glamorous or prominent. The only job I could manage to find was as a "sales associate" for the Dollar General Corporation of America. Oh well... better than nothing.
I started out as a coordinator for a prestigious university and ended as a cashier at a discount convenience store. If that's not a perfect example of what alcoholism and addiction can do to you, I'm not sure what is.
So, I pretty much started 2017 with a blank slate. A clean piece of paper. I was a big blob of clay ready to be molded. I'd LIKE to say that 2017 was a beacon of light in comparison to 2016 and that I became a "new man" who completely put himself back together. Sadly, the "work in progress" portion of my story wasn't over yet. Now, don't get me wrong, the year had plenty of bright spots that I am eternally grateful for, it just wasn't the year that I was hoping for when the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2017.
I thought I was making positive strides at the beginning of the year when I was given the life-changing (yes, sarcasm) promotion to LEAD sales associate at Dollar General. It was more or less a managerial position, just without a real significant increase in pay or benefits or anything. I got a shiny key to the cash register and didn't have to bug managers to make "important" decisions... like whether or not Darla (or whoever) needed a receipt to make an exchange because she bought the wrong kind of deodorant.
My time in the pseudo-not-so-managerial position with the "General" was short, as I was offered an even BETTER opportunity. This one actually piqued my interest and got me excited (no, not sarcasm) about the potential. A neighbor and friend of Mom's helped get me the inside track with the Dean McGee Eye Institute working in their glaucoma clinic at the front desk. The pay was a little bit better and it offered benefits. The main thing was that it put me back in an office/clerical/administrative position where I feel the most comfortable. It was a position where I could feel like an adult, rather than working with kids at the local "DG."
DMEI was far from perfect, but I did manage to find my own little niche there. I met some amazing people and got to the point where I was pretty damn good at my job. For the most part, I loved working with patients and helping people. I was able to car-pool again with Mom. It had good benefits that helped with my prescriptions and what-not. But my attitude and mindset were in the wrong space and I was set on demonizing that place and would NOT allow myself to be happy. Had things been different, I could've easily stayed there and put myself in a spot to continue to grow there.
There near the end, I was even making strides to where I could begin to make some decisions for my life. Do I want to STAY at DMEI, attempt some sort of growth and promotion within the company? Or stay there while I go back to school? Or should I go ahead and find another career opportunity that pays better with better potential for growth? Oddly enough, life handed me what was behind "door number four" that I didn't even notice. I'm (obviously) no longer at DMEI, not going back to school (yet) and while I'm grateful for my current job, this isn't a position that will be a long-term career. So, it's door number four! It's odd to think about how that fourth door is turning out to be an odd blessing in disguise.
One of the biggest changes in my life in 2017 was the addition of this girl named Megan. We met through a harmless dating app and chatted for a little while. We had our first date in June, I took her to Hollie's (a steak place where we ate cheeseburgers.) Despite minor differences (she's a little more "country," I'm a little more "rock and roll,") we seem to be a perfect fit. We've enjoyed everything from going to the Friday Night Art Walk in the Paseo to binge-watching seasons of "The 100," "Game of Thrones," "The Walking Dead" and "Top Gear" on Netflix. Throw in Pizza Shuttle to any occasion and the two of us are more than happy. It was odd how suddenly, after a few weeks of just hanging out and spending time together, it was just like "whoa... I love this girl."
All of that happiness with Megan was before November 13th. When THAT night happened well over a month ago, she had two options she could've taken. The first option was to check out and say "no thanks, I didn't sign up for this." She would've been TOTALLY justified to make that decision. The other option was "Ok. I'm not a FAN of this situation, but I'm going to stick it through and help out." I'm SO blessed that she made that decision. Not only has she stuck by MY side, she's become so much closer and has helped my parents out as well. She's walked together WITH them through this ordeal. I look forward to graduating from here and joining them in the "real world," because I know that THEY are going to be close, and it's not just an act of "oh I'm just friendly because she's my son's girlfriend" type of situation...
Because FIRSTEP only allows people with 30+ days of residency here to leave on a pass, and Christmas Day was day 28, I didn't get to have the "traditional" Christmas at home. I had originally planned to use my FIRST pass on New Year's Day, go home to see the fam and watch the OU game. The director had different plans, apparently saying that it was a safety issue and he wanted to avoid sending the guys out there on a holiday that is predominantly known for drinking and partying. I don't necessarily agree... but part of this program is listening to people in charge and following directions. I work until 1:00PM and then will have some visitors for a bit. Later, we're supposed to run to the store and pick up some stuff for a little get-together in our dorm. It'll just be snacks, games, movies and more snacks. As long as I can get a nap in there somewhere, I'll be a happy camper. Being "open and willing" is allowing me to be somewhat excited or intrigued for another non-traditional holiday.
So, here we are, end of the road for 2017...
There are a handful of things that I wish I could've done differently, but now that I look back, I'm glad that it happened the way that it did. There were some "up's" and some total "down's," but all-in-all, I'm still alive. I feel hopeful about my future. Wait. I take that back. At the end of 2016, I felt hopeful. It was kind of a "come on, man, 2017 can't be THAT bad, right?!" As I'm winding down the last 17-ish hours of the year, I'm not only HOPEFUL... but I'm actually EXCITED. Everything is in place for a great year. I'm hopeful for the good times, I'm learning the tools to take on the not-so-good-times and I'm ready to experience everything in between...
Happy New Year!!!
- JC -
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