The Christmas That Wasn't...

I apologize for the dramatic title, but it's true. But, before you get bent out of shape, let me explain what I meant...

We've molded together some simple, yet important holiday traditions throughout my lifetime. December rolls around and there is the annual Christmas light tour. It usually consists of Mom and me, but sometimes Nick decides to join in on the holiday fun, hopping in the car to grab some hot cocoa and see how people (beautifully or totally tacky) decorate the outsides of their homes. Both "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" AND "A Christmas Story" have to be watched at LEAST once by the end of December 25th. This year has worked out a bit differently, and neither of these happened. I did have a chance to go look at Christmas lights in Chickasha with the guys of FIRSTEP, but it just didn't feel right. Also, I had the two ultimate holiday movies, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't think either of these things would feel right without MY people around.

On Christmas Eve, we have THE important gathering of the season. Usually held at my house (aka the parents' house), everyone gets together and partakes in the stuffing of our faces with not-so-traditional Christmas foods. Your family has turkey and dressing. OUR family has stromboli and various snacks and goodies. Once we're miserably full, we sit around and talk and whatever while the kids play. It's not a Cuomo holiday unless a fun pseudo-argument breaks out about some silly issue like when Hannukah begins. After a while, we watch as the kids open up their presents and play around before everyone has to get home before Santa.

This year, I had to work in the office most of Christmas Eve. It was a blessing in disguise, that kept me busy since I didn't get to go home. In the morning, the office was abuzz with people coming in to add their names to the church list and the regular dispensing of medicines. However, it was a little bit busier than usual. On top of the lists and the medicines, we had the staff handing out Christmas presents to the residents who had kids AND the eligible residents checking out on their 24-hour Christmas passes AND people checking in for visitation. Lots and lots of people in a tiny space makes for a hectic morning! I took a little break around 1:00PM when Megan and Turtle BOTH came to visit me. It was awesome. :-) Technically, I should've been "off" at 1:00 but the two other ROD's were out on their passes, so I came back to help in the evening. My Christmas Eve wrapped up at about 9:00PM as I walked back to the dorm and called it a night.

Christmas Day has become so relaxed and downright decadent, I love it. We get to sleep in, which after a crazy Christmas Eve, is usually necessary. As we begin to stir, the parents make their coffee. I start to drink that super-amazing-rich chocolate milk. We dive headfirst into our stockings and then go by the usual ceremony of opening our gifts. We eat a VERY tasty breakfast of eggs, peppered bacon and cinnamon rolls. We lounge around for a bit before eventually getting cleaned up and heading to the Warren Theater for a movie. If we're LUCKY, something is playing in one of the director's suites. After the movie, we return to the super strenuous (not) activity of lounging around before we fall asleep to the happiness of another successful Christmas.

THIS year, I woke up to a nearly empty dorm. Most of the dorm was out on pass, only four or five other guys remained behind for various reasons. In the chow hall, Jonas fixed a variety of tasty things for breakfast...eggs, pancakes, biscuits and sausage gravy (technically it was "shit on a shingle") and was also hard at work to fix us a traditional Christmas dinner. By the time an early Christmas dinner was ready, about 20 or so of the guys had returned from their pass and they ALL jumped on the turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, etc. as if they had never seen food before. Mom and Nick weren't there yet and I was honestly concerned that it would be all gone by the time they got there! I had to take pre-emptive action to save the last three dinner rolls. Despite my previous worries, there was still plenty of food. Instead of fancy china, we had our Christmas dinner on metal lunch trays. It was still pretty darn tasty and very filling. Mom and Nick stayed for a nice visit and dropped off plenty of Christmas snacks that was leftover from the Cuomo Christmas Eve celebration the night before.

After the parents left, I went up to the office to help out some more. As soon as Kenneth returned, he let me go back to the dorm for the rest of the day. I relaxed and got settled in before dinner, which was basically "fend for yourself." While most people had sandwiches and stuff, I reheated some leftover stromboli and I received PLENTY of jealous looks from my dorm-mates. After dinner, a gentleman named Steve was nice enough to take time out of his Christmas to bring us a meeting. When that wrapped up, we all made the brisk track (it was cold!) to our dorms... tired after a happy and sober Christmas.

So, this was FAR from the "usual" Christmas season. When I first learned that I wasn't going to be able to make it home for Christmas Eve or Day, I went into full-on pout mode. I could kinda understand the reasoning behind the decision to not let me go home, but I thought that they could've bent the rules a wee little bit. I've had nearly a month to come to grips with the decision and move on from it. Would I RATHER have had the option of having my "traditional" Christmas versus the FIRSTEP version? Of course. But FIRSTEP is helping me achieve something that I couldn't achieve for myself and that is hope that a lifetime of long-term sobriety is an actual possibility. It's helping me ensure that there will be many more happy Christmases in the future. I foresee plenty of Christmas lights, peppered bacon, chocolate milk and lounging around with my FAMILY. So, in essence, this definitely could be considered the "Christmas that wasn't." But, looking back at it now, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing...